Hello lovelies,

Gosh! Where has the time gone and how on earth is it nearing March? After the last year of our world turning upside down. I took a simple approach to my new year resolutions. My intentions looked different than previous years. They were simple and attainable and in the words of Elsa only required me to take one action and... Let it go.

The funny part about lessons, is that only in retrospect can we see them so clearly.

Just like Ellie, I planned to nurse Lennon for a year or as long as I had a supply of milk. Well guess what, my big organic, plastic free plans didn’t line up with his stomach. Despite his always chipper and joyful disposition, my little man has quite a few tummy troubles. Since the day we brought him home, he puked countless times. We assumed it was an allergy, but after months of adjusting feedings, endless laundry and elimination dieting nothing seemed to be working. And while in the throws of post-partum and pandemic brain, his mild intolerance left me feeling even more inadequate and lost.

I had a visceral instinct to fix it. How can I make this stop? How can I assure that he is getting everything he needs? Why is he allergic to me? I am his mama. I am supposed to know how to help him, right? At a loss for what to do, I started to surrender. I begrudgingly surrendered to the smelly specialty formula, while continuing to adhere to my elimination diet and freeze my milk. I detached from the expectation that I would breastfeed again, without punishing myself for primal yearning to breastfeeding my baby as so many wonderful mothers before me. Only here did everything shift. It gave us both time to heal. Lennon physically and me emotionally.

After a few weeks of our individual work, I threw a hail mary and took one last stab at nursing him. And to both me and my family’s surprise, it worked. Yes, we have some puke still, but the allergic reaction to my milk dissipated. I’m aware that this is not everyone’s story around breastfeeding and I just as well could’ve had to wean him, but it was not until I came in to acceptance that maybe my plan wasn’t the best plan for my baby that something shifted. Now, every time I feed him I am overwhelmed with gratitude about this special short amount of time I get to share with him while he’s still small.

Ellie and Lennon are my greatest teachers. I choke up thinking of all the ways they fill and open my heart. I’m sure it’s the first of many lessons- this one will teach me about the art of surrender. As a mother, my responsibility is to walk the tight rope of love and surrender. It’s a hard pill to swallow knowing that sometimes the fix for them won’t be as simple as surrendering to formula, and that ultimately Lennon and Ellie will grow, make mistakes and have hard lessons just as I did. But, at the end of the day I am endlessly grateful for the opportunity to cheer them on, as they gift me the opportunity to practice humility, selflessness and presence.

I am sharing the most cozy delicious GUT HEALING soup this week. Cause we all need a little love and wellness. And I shared some of my most favorite brands to get your year started on a nice grounded foot. Now go and #beyourbestself

xoxo,

Amy

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Green Soup Bielers Both

INGREDIENTS:

• 4 Medium Zucchinis

• 1 Pound of Green Beans (ends chopped)

• 2-3 Celery Stalks

• 2 TBS Ghee (or to taste - can omit if vegan)

• Salt to taste

• Water

INSTRUCTIONS:

Rinse all the Veggies

Chop off and throw away the ends of the green beans. Messy chop the green beans, zucchini, and celery (this doesn’t need to be clean or perfect) and place all the veggies in a stockpot.

Fill the stockpot with water until the vegetables are covered. Boil for 10 minutes or until all the veggies are green and tender, but not mushy.

Strain out the cooked vegetables and place them into a Food Processor or Vitamix. Add Ghee and puree away! Add salt to taste.