Getting those mini humans to sleep
After getting such great feedback on my adult sleep post, I decided to do one for kids. Because let’s be real, if the kids aren’t sleeping neither are the caretakers. I know not all of you have kiddos, but maybe you intend to be a future parent or have a friend, family member or neighbor who has kids and would benefit from this post. Sleep is NOT overrated, not in the least, so pay those zzzzss forward! :)
Ellie (my four, going on fourteen year old) is a GREAT sleeper. Always has been. Granted, she fully protested taking naps before turning three ( which was perfectly timed with the pandemic, so pregnant me never had a break), but she always has met bed time with ease. She sleeps through the night no problem and will even sometimes gift me with an hour nap while in the car.
But you know what they say… the first one is ALWAYS the easy one and gosh that couldn’t be more true in our house. My little Lennon has been a whole other story. Lennon was an excellent sleeper his first few months, then around four months (which is common) the game changed. He had us up at all hours crying to be cooed back to sleep. He sorted it out by 5 months, but then at 7 months had another sleep regression.
Sleep training him the way we trained Ellie was nearly impossible because they are currently sharing a room (still living in a construction zone guys- but soon it will be done and you better believe renovation and design blog posts are coming along with some tips from hubs aka Portola Paints !!). Out of fear of waking Ellie up, I would grab Lennon at the slightest fuss letting him nurse and sleep on me- I never did that with Ellie. Both soothing techniques were considered a big fat NO in my head. I had read every baby book during my first pregnancy and was a devout follower of the Eat Play Sleep method and “Le Pause” from Bringing Up Bebe (“The idea is that when a baby wakes or starts fussing, French parents give them a couple of minutes to see if they are able to self-soothe and settle, rather than immediately rushing to the baby”). So, when Lennon decided to un-bless us with a sleep regression for the second time, I realized I needed some help.
My bestie Katie Lowes ( who has an incredible podcast called “Katie’s Crib” which “keeps it real while providing an indispensable guide for parents trying to find their way”- A MUST LISTEN) had raved about her magical sleep wizard Susie Menkes and said I must call her. So call her I did, and whoa; game changer.
Founder of Healthy Little Sleepers, Susie Menkes, PhD is a pediatric sleep expert and has her background in development. She serves on the Medical Board for What's Up Moms (the #1 Parenting YouTube Channel), and is certified in pediatric sleep and child behavior. She has also been featured on and in Katie’s Crib, Hatch Mama, Beverly Hills Pediatrics, Family Sleep Institute, and many more. Susie’s loving and gentle approach comes from first hand experience with sleep training her first born who slept through the night on a predictable sleep schedule by four month and her next born by two month. She did countless hours of trial and error so us moms don’t have to. I called Susie and within minutes I felt at ease- I knew she was going to get us back on track.
Check out our Q & A with below and if you think you need her in your life (trust me YOU DO) follow her on instagram @healthylittlesleepers or on her website. She offers a free first call, tons of workshops including Healthy Parenting Bootcamp – a 6 week program to really understand and focus on some challenging behaviors, and online programs such as Healthy Newborn Sleep Workshop, Healthy Sleep Workshop for 4-18mo olds.
Q & A With Susie Menke
1. How did you find your passion for sleep training?
When my son was born in 2012, I knew a whole lot about development, but sleep was a completely different area. So, I started reading all the books and contradicting opinions and getting completely different advice from well-intentioned friends and family too, but it was all so different I didn’t know what to believe or trust. So, I did what I knew best with my applied developmental psychology background… I reviewed evidence-based research and the research that was cited in many of the contradicting books … and figured things out – the hard way but I did it! And at 4 months, I sleep trained my son and got him sleeping through the night and taking predictable naps. I felt like a whole new person, and also confident about my choices. From there I started helping other friends, and I pivoted my practice to helping families get their little one’s sleeping too! I love being able to help parents sift through all the BS out there, answer their questions, and help them during this very challenging transition of parenthood.
When I had my daughter 22 months later, I knew a whole lot more about sleep, and I started putting healthy practices in place for her based on the development of newborn sleep (not sleep training), and I had her sleeping through the night at 8 weeks of age. Crazy … I know! My best friend’s daughter was born a week earlier than my daughter, and I helped her too and her daughter was sleeping through the night at 12 weeks old.
And from there Healthy Little Sleepers was born!
2. How does sleep training set you and and your kiddo up for success? And what is your sleep hygiene routine like?!
The early you start, the easier things will be in the long run because you will be set up for success to begin with. Yes, things will need to adjust overtime as they grow and sleep needs change. But the small changes are so much easier to make (yet still challenging too) than trying to make a really big change later. You can still make changes later in the game, it will just take a little longer for things to come together, but with practice, patience and lots of love, it absolutely can. Not only does sleep help your kiddo, but YOU too… Lack of sleep for a new parent is expected, your newborn needs you in the early first few months, but if you continue with 3-5 night time wakings for several months or even years to come, it can really take a toll on your ability to think clearly and calmly, and it can take a toll on your relationship, mental health, work, joy for life and so much more. Sleep is so important for your kiddo and YOU
My sleep hygiene is another story – lol. I can definitely work on mine. But once we say goodnight to the kids, I often shower and unwind my day, and think about 2 things I want to get done the next day, both for household things and work. Then depending on the day, we will either catch up on a show or I will get some work taken care of that needs tending too… then I TRY to be in bed by 10:30 if I haven’t fallen asleep on the couch watching a show. I’m working on that one ‘cause that’s what most likely happens. Haha
3. What are some of your favorite books sleep (or none sleep) that have been helpful to you?
I love How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims … I often refer to her book when talking about so many things about raising kids. She talks about teaching kids basic life skills and skills can pertain to everything from sleep, to getting dressed, to tying shoes to riding a bike. She frames teaching in a really great way: 1. First we do it for them. 2. Then we do it with them. 3. Then we watch them do it. 4. Then they do it on their own. This is how we can help teach our little ones – it’s the basic tenet to scaffolding.
4. What is the number one myth you hear from parents who are sleep training?
I am often answering the myth around how sleep training is synonymous with the “Cry It Out” method. Mommy blogs and parenting books often mix up sleep training with Cry It Out. This method is when you put your baby down to sleep, leave the room and don’t go in until it’s morning time. This is not the reality of what I recommend to families. In fact, when asked about it, more often than not I steer parents away from it. There can be a time and place for it, but it really is an older way of thinking and is not what sleep training means.
“Sleep training” is actually an umbrella term that refers to a spectrum of approaches to help babies learn how to fall and stay asleep. There’s such a wide range of gentler sleep training approaches that can help. It might even involve some combination – I adjust approaches to fit parent’s values and philosophies and set them up with expectations based on what we choose. Sleep training also involves educating parents about baby sleep, so they can be informed about what’s going on and feel empowered and confident about their decisions.
5. If you could give one tip to parents, what would it be?
It’s ok to make mistakes… You are human, you have never done this before, and the goal is to learn and grow with your littles.
6. What are a few of your fave wellness hacks and workouts?
Essential oils + a really good candle (I LOVE all the good smells – but not flowery smells… I leave those to actual flowers. lol) Indoor Cycling (currently outdoor), Barre classes, + I’m getting into more Yoga (have a current goal to land the handstand – hahaha)
donate to:
1. Miku Monitor
Sleep time can be stressful for new moms and with so many monitors on the market knowing which to trust can be tricky. Well search no more, Miku Monitor is such a life saver during early days, sleep training and the toddler phase. It tracks breathing, sleep patterns and nursery conditions with ease. Even if the internet goes down, Miku has your back. This monitor makes for easeful and restful sleep for both momma and babies.
2. Baeo Bare Booty Balm
My favorite post bath ritual for Lennon. This booty balm is what I've used on him after bath since day one and he’s NEVER had a diaper rash. This mom owned brand uses the best natural botanical ingredients. They’re also an environmental friendly company who prioritizes sustainability.
3. Coterie
We are in love with these diapers and wipes. I tried so many different brands with Ellie, and between rashes, leaks, etc, we never found one we loved. Coterie diapers are free of all the harsh stuff and BS, and they are doing everything they can to be as sustainable as possible! They donate to NativeEnergy, Baby2baby, and diaper recycling technology. Their diapers as biodegradable as possible on the market. SO soft, So leak proof, and so eco friendly. Lennon’s tush is so happy. Use my code COTERIEAMY $20 off new orders of $75 or more.
4. Milkbarn Loveys
My babies love these LOVEYS. Ellie sleeps with three small ones and one big one and Lennon just started snuggling with these as he falls off to dream land. These organic security blankets have the cutest designs and are the best to grow with your little ones. They also have fab clothes and towels and much more!
5. My little Dreamy Pillow
Little heads need little pillows! These pillows are oh so soft, hypoallergenic, made in the USA from 100% organic cotton AND developed ergonomically for your little ones. Oh and easy to wash (A MUST, DUH). Ellie sleeps with hers every night. The size both supports her head and neck and also provides her security while dosing off.
6. DOHM Sound Machine
I really don’t know what I would do without this white noise machine. Truly. I have one in both my room and my kids room. We even have small ones for when we travel. White noise is proven to help with deeper more restful sleep and DOHM is the absolute OG in white noise technology.
7. Gro-To
From their bad dream buster to their oils, and body lotion, everything this brand has to offer smells and feels so good. Non toxic and made with all good stuff, we are big fans! The bad dream buster I use as part of Ellie’s sleep routine. Assuring her that no bad dreams will happen and soothing her into deep restful sleep is one of our special mama daughter moments.
8. Solly Baby Crib Sheets and Jammies
This is one of my favorite brands. Their stuff is oh so soft.Think about the coziest material you could possibility image and then turn it into sheets and jammies. From his bed to his pajamas to his blankets, Lennon snuggles in mostly Solly most of the time.
9. Half Days
While we are talking about comfy-cozy, these baby clothes feel like your favorite boyfriend tee. I rock their adult line, For Days, and wow are we fans. Not only is their stuff adorable and comfortable, but they are an Eco brand. Their motto is “Have Everything. Waste Nothing.Organic, zero waste, 100% recyclable fashion.” LOVE LOVE LOVE.
10. Mini Bloom
You can’t talk about bedtime without bath time and gosh these MiniBloom products are a full lifesaver. All of their products smell amazing and only have the CLEANEST and SAFEST ingredients. Our favorite product is their Fresh N’ Clean 2-in-1 Hair and Body Wash it helps clean and calm my kiddos before they drift off to dreamland.
